Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, May 3, 2008
(Tongue in Cheek)
Haven't started yet, can't get organized and I think the kids know something is up and are avoiding me.
Will post again soon with the start date.
Will post again soon with the start date.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Advice Given To My Daughter:
Before my children were born I had decided that my daughters would not be teenage moms. I never considered a decision about a son; I am guilty of thinking less of, if at all of him, because he could not be a teenage mom and therefore he was safe – forgetting that he could be a teenage dad.
I armed my daughters against teenage parenting, but not my son; my fault. However, this post is not about my son, this post is about parenting for teenage girls that were never parented.
Since the deed has already been done and you have become a teenage parent, I want to offer my assistance through answering your questions and by giving you anecdotal advice, wherever applicable.
This is the first and best piece of advice I have to offer you and will probably leave it as a footer in all future article releases: DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE BABIES. I am not referring to forever, what I say to you I say because the first baby is the gateway baby. You have probably heard marijuana referred to as the gateway drug that leads to the use of other drugs, well my little honeys, it is a good reference and one I find to be true. The first baby leads you to believe that your life is all over, so why not have another child? I will tell you why not. One baby is an accident that you can work with and work around, but two or more babies is a stereotype and statistic designed to amuse the comics at your expense.
To all of you young girls that have one baby or no babies take yourselves IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR NEAREST PLANNED PARENTHOOD TODAY. If you do not have medical coverage go to the nearest drug store and buy YOUR OWN CONDOMS. If your boyfriends or whatever do not want to wear one, PLEASE GOD, BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GET UP AND WALK AWAY. LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU AND THOUGH IT HURTS LIKE HELL AND YOU WANT HIM TO LIKE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE THE REJECTION AND LOVE YOURSELF. DO THE HARD THING, KEEP WALKING AND LOVE YOURSELF. IGNORE THE UGLY THINGS HE IS SAYING AND STOP WANTING TO MAKE HIM LIKE YOU AS HE TELLS YOU HE IS GOING TO SCREW YOUR FRIEND, HOLD ON AND CHANT OR SCREAM I LOVE ME.
Finally, before we get into today's rant, know that you cannot hold onto a guy by having his kid, you will lose him. You will lose a guy you have a child by, because guys love what they can not have. Once a guy gets what he wants from you he will love you for a while, as he looks around for your replacement. A guy will beg you to have his child and promise that he will be with you forever. He may be with you forever but you will be supporting him and the children you make, while he freely runs around cheating on you. There are exceptions, but do you really want to learn if your boyfriend is the exception by the act of giving birth to a child neither one of you are equipped mentally emotionally financially educationally or spiritually to raise?
As children from the inner cities you all have unique obstacles to overcome, in addition to the education deficit. I am going to base my opinions on you all having high school diplomas, GEDs, or in the process of getting GEDs. For those of you that are around seventeen or eighteen years of age, I suggest you return immediately to high school and beg to be reinstated in school. However, minimal it is in the scheme of things a high school diploma reads much better than a GED to future employers. If you do not have the means or time to return to school, NO, get back into school. Go to your nearest income maintenance office sign up for public assistance and tell them you want to get back into high school. Have them work with you to get you childcare, if necessary and for those blessed ones without children congratulations. For those of you without children go straight to the school in your district and apply. I want you to be persistent, do not give up, do not give in, until you have been reinstated in school with a schedule in hand.
Once you have been successfully readmitted into school go to the nearest discount store. Go straight to the back of the store in the electronics department and grab an alarm clock; buy an old fashion alarm clock without snooze button or a radio, but with that annoying loud alarm bell attached.
The next thing you will do is go to the nearest Department of Labor to locate part-time employment. You are going to have to journey this road alone, because most of you are going to learn that when you begin to do well others are going to seek to place obstacles in your path. Forgive them for trying to keep you down, but walk over these obstacles, go under these obstacles, do whatever it takes to mitigate these obstacles.
There comes a time in every person’s life when they begin to take responsibility for their own lives and choices. There comes a time in a person’s life when they look up and out and stop blaming their parents for their lives. You are old enough to take on the responsibility and direction of your own lives. You are old enough to want to stop reacting to life happening to you and direct what happens in your life. You have to be strong and focused and yes, sometimes selfish. Love you first, love you first.
You must accept into your consciousness that you can not possibly help or love another person if you have not helped and loved yourself. Love yourself and stop following the crowd.
There is one other thing I must add here for one and all and that is freedom comes through education and not money. Here is a secret that you have not been told, because then you will no longer be a slave and that is EDUCATION brings MONEY. Stop worrying about getting rich or die trying. You do not have to die trying to get rich. You can be educated and richness will come to you in the form of opportunity and cash. HEAR WHAT I SAID and repeat it after me: EDUCATION BRINGS MONEY. Teach this to your child.
Make education important in your life and make it important in the lives of your parents and your siblings. Remember this though the only person you control is you and if the others do not want to get aboard, oh well. You have to do whatever it takes and fight yourself all of the way, because you are going to want to sleep in and hang out late, but if you want to live like the rich and famous it will begin with education. Rich folk don’t like dumb people around them. You had better know something, so get into school, learn everything and ask questions until you understand exactly what the teacher is teaching. Do not react if a teacher appears to have an attitude, it is their jobs to see to your educational needs during school and your job to see to your educational needs after school: library and internet.
Do not allow yourself to get sidetracked by life. Remember: NO MORE BABIES OR BETTER STILL – NO BABIES!
Until next time…
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Before my children were born I had decided that my daughters would not be teenage moms. I never considered a decision about a son; I am guilty of thinking less of, if at all of him, because he could not be a teenage mom and therefore he was safe – forgetting that he could be a teenage dad.
I armed my daughters against teenage parenting, but not my son; my fault. However, this post is not about my son, this post is about parenting for teenage girls that were never parented.
Since the deed has already been done and you have become a teenage parent, I want to offer my assistance through answering your questions and by giving you anecdotal advice, wherever applicable.
This is the first and best piece of advice I have to offer you and will probably leave it as a footer in all future article releases: DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE BABIES. I am not referring to forever, what I say to you I say because the first baby is the gateway baby. You have probably heard marijuana referred to as the gateway drug that leads to the use of other drugs, well my little honeys, it is a good reference and one I find to be true. The first baby leads you to believe that your life is all over, so why not have another child? I will tell you why not. One baby is an accident that you can work with and work around, but two or more babies is a stereotype and statistic designed to amuse the comics at your expense.
To all of you young girls that have one baby or no babies take yourselves IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR NEAREST PLANNED PARENTHOOD TODAY. If you do not have medical coverage go to the nearest drug store and buy YOUR OWN CONDOMS. If your boyfriends or whatever do not want to wear one, PLEASE GOD, BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GET UP AND WALK AWAY. LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU AND THOUGH IT HURTS LIKE HELL AND YOU WANT HIM TO LIKE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE THE REJECTION AND LOVE YOURSELF. DO THE HARD THING, KEEP WALKING AND LOVE YOURSELF. IGNORE THE UGLY THINGS HE IS SAYING AND STOP WANTING TO MAKE HIM LIKE YOU AS HE TELLS YOU HE IS GOING TO SCREW YOUR FRIEND, HOLD ON AND CHANT OR SCREAM I LOVE ME.
Finally, before we get into today's rant, know that you cannot hold onto a guy by having his kid, you will lose him. You will lose a guy you have a child by, because guys love what they can not have. Once a guy gets what he wants from you he will love you for a while, as he looks around for your replacement. A guy will beg you to have his child and promise that he will be with you forever. He may be with you forever but you will be supporting him and the children you make, while he freely runs around cheating on you. There are exceptions, but do you really want to learn if your boyfriend is the exception by the act of giving birth to a child neither one of you are equipped mentally emotionally financially educationally or spiritually to raise?
As children from the inner cities you all have unique obstacles to overcome, in addition to the education deficit. I am going to base my opinions on you all having high school diplomas, GEDs, or in the process of getting GEDs. For those of you that are around seventeen or eighteen years of age, I suggest you return immediately to high school and beg to be reinstated in school. However, minimal it is in the scheme of things a high school diploma reads much better than a GED to future employers. If you do not have the means or time to return to school, NO, get back into school. Go to your nearest income maintenance office sign up for public assistance and tell them you want to get back into high school. Have them work with you to get you childcare, if necessary and for those blessed ones without children congratulations. For those of you without children go straight to the school in your district and apply. I want you to be persistent, do not give up, do not give in, until you have been reinstated in school with a schedule in hand.
Once you have been successfully readmitted into school go to the nearest discount store. Go straight to the back of the store in the electronics department and grab an alarm clock; buy an old fashion alarm clock without snooze button or a radio, but with that annoying loud alarm bell attached.
The next thing you will do is go to the nearest Department of Labor to locate part-time employment. You are going to have to journey this road alone, because most of you are going to learn that when you begin to do well others are going to seek to place obstacles in your path. Forgive them for trying to keep you down, but walk over these obstacles, go under these obstacles, do whatever it takes to mitigate these obstacles.
There comes a time in every person’s life when they begin to take responsibility for their own lives and choices. There comes a time in a person’s life when they look up and out and stop blaming their parents for their lives. You are old enough to take on the responsibility and direction of your own lives. You are old enough to want to stop reacting to life happening to you and direct what happens in your life. You have to be strong and focused and yes, sometimes selfish. Love you first, love you first.
You must accept into your consciousness that you can not possibly help or love another person if you have not helped and loved yourself. Love yourself and stop following the crowd.
There is one other thing I must add here for one and all and that is freedom comes through education and not money. Here is a secret that you have not been told, because then you will no longer be a slave and that is EDUCATION brings MONEY. Stop worrying about getting rich or die trying. You do not have to die trying to get rich. You can be educated and richness will come to you in the form of opportunity and cash. HEAR WHAT I SAID and repeat it after me: EDUCATION BRINGS MONEY. Teach this to your child.
Make education important in your life and make it important in the lives of your parents and your siblings. Remember this though the only person you control is you and if the others do not want to get aboard, oh well. You have to do whatever it takes and fight yourself all of the way, because you are going to want to sleep in and hang out late, but if you want to live like the rich and famous it will begin with education. Rich folk don’t like dumb people around them. You had better know something, so get into school, learn everything and ask questions until you understand exactly what the teacher is teaching. Do not react if a teacher appears to have an attitude, it is their jobs to see to your educational needs during school and your job to see to your educational needs after school: library and internet.
Do not allow yourself to get sidetracked by life. Remember: NO MORE BABIES OR BETTER STILL – NO BABIES!
Until next time…
Top Stories
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